We are still muddling our way through January. I was heartened and encouraged today on one of my regular riverside walks to see some brave snowdrops poking their cheery wee heads above ground. Yes it is true that they look a bit battered and tentative, but as the weeks progress they gain confidence and prominence and are joyful bringers of hope of lighter days to come. And – spring!
But meantime, in January we remain.
Last week I was encouraging you to STOP doing just one thing this year – considering all the choices and behaviours and patterns of behaviour of last year, choosing one thing that this year you are going to STOP doing.
This keeps things simple and achievable without being overwhelming.
This week, consider with me what it means to start doing something. Just one thing that you want to START doing that, if it became a habit, would bring tangible and positive change.
Start doing something – just one thing.
Musing on what one thing we might consider stopping this year allowed us to explore lots of potential areas for change: home life, relationships, personal well-being, work.
Take a few minutes with me to consider where you are stuck in any of these areas. This is not about making big or dramatic changes necessarily (although if you would like to explore that through coaching do get in touch!).
But when we stop and step back from our lives and observe without judgement how we are living, themes and patterns can become clear.
Where are you going round in circles with the same behaviour patterns that do not take you to the result you want?
There is a well quoted definition of insanity that states that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. (It seems that it was not Einstein who said this, which is a rabbit hole you can go down here if you so wish).
But this is something I work on a lot with clients. Behaviour change is challenging and hard. Until we can deconstruct patterns of behaviour into steps and see clearly what is going on – and why – it is hard to break into that with change.
As we recognise the patterns and the triggers for potentially unwanted behaviour, we are then in a position to exercise our secret super power of choice – we and we alone have power over what goes in inside our heads.
This is where we can start doing something new this year to break into repetitive behaviour patterns and change their pathways from negative outcome to positive.
Start doing something to change the way you talk to yourself.
Maybe you identify that one area of change is your lack of self belief. Negative thoughts about yourself take prominence in your mind and keep you trapped on a loop of destructive self doubt.
Break into that cycle and start being kind to yourself instead. Stop listening to that voice that condemns, and instead choose to tell yourself something kind and true about yourself instead. Speak to yourself as you would speak to a cherished friend.
Start doing one thing to change sedentary work patterns.
Start taking a walking phone call rather than another zoom meeting. Start using a stand desk. Start using a timer and every hour doing 5 minutes of standing stretches. Or perhaps start taking a brisk 20 minute walk at lunchtime (regardless of the weather) to have head and creative thinking space.
One small change – a big difference over the course of a year, and an old and unhelpful habit broken.
One thing to deepen relationships.
If this is your chosen area for change, ask yourself what you want the outcome to be? What are the barriers to that at present? And which of those is easiest to tackle first?
Perhaps this means starting to have a tech free day (or half day or hour) once a week. Break habits of dependence and gain time for people or yourself.
Or starting to take a pause before saying yes – be it a few minutes, an hour, a day – time to consider the costs of saying yes and no and break habits of overcommitting.
Start doing something – one simple thing.
What would make the biggest difference to you? Start with patterns you want to change, and think about the outcome that would be best. Then notice what is preventing you achieving that, and what the first step is to break that pattern.
That then becomes your one thing to start doing this year. Simple, freeing, hope-filled – one thing, one day at a time.